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Relationship problems on holiday. Tips from your psychologist

Holidays are usually associated with rest, disconnection, and quality time as a couple. However, for many people, this period can also become a time of tension, arguments, and domestic conflict. At CALMA Psicólogos, we work on couples therapy in Fuengirola and Mijas, helping couples to improve communication, manage disagreements, and strengthen their emotional bond.

Spending more time together, changing usual routines, or having different expectations about how to enjoy holidays can bring hidden conflicts to the surface that remain hidden for the rest of the year.

Recommended reading It is advisable to go to couples therapy when you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship that you are unable to resolve on your own. This could include: * **Communication breakdowns:** When you find yourselves constantly arguing, misunderstanding each other, or avoiding difficult conversations. * **Recurring conflicts:** If you keep having the same arguments about the same issues without finding a resolution. * **Emotional distance:** When you feel disconnected from your partner, leading to a lack of intimacy or affection. * **Life transitions:** Significant life changes such as a new baby, job loss, relocation, or illness can put a strain on relationships. * **Infidelity or trust issues:** When one or both partners have engaged in infidelity, or there are ongoing issues of trust. * **Differing life goals:** When you find yourselves on different paths and struggling to reconcile your future aspirations. * **Sexual difficulties:** Problems with intimacy or sexual compatibility. * **Parenting disagreements:** When you have significant differences in your parenting styles or approaches. * **Feeling unheard or invalidated:** When one or both partners feel their feelings, needs, or perspectives are consistently dismissed. * **Wanting to improve the relationship:** Even if there isn't a major crisis, couples therapy can be beneficial for strengthening your bond, enhancing communication, and building a more fulfilling relationship. Essentially, couples therapy is helpful when you want to understand each other better, develop healthier ways of relating, and learn practical skills to navigate challenges together. It's often recommended to seek help *before* issues become too entrenched and the relationship reaches a crisis point.

Why do couple conflicts increase during the holidays?

During holidays, schedules, responsibilities and ways of living together change. This increase in shared time can lead to friction in couples who already had accumulated stress, communication difficulties or unresolved problems.

Some of the most common causes of couple conflicts on holiday are:

  • Differences in holiday or travel expectations
  • Communication problems
  • Difficulties negotiating individual and couple times
  • Economic stress
  • Overload with family or domestic tasks
  • Jealousy or insecurities
  • Lack of personal space

In many cases, holidays do not create problems, but rather amplify dynamics that already existed.

Couple therapists helping with family holiday conflicts

How does couples therapy help during these types of conflicts?

Couple therapy offers a safe space where both partners can express their emotions, needs, and concerns without falling into destructive dynamics.

At CALMA Psicólogos, we work with a practical and personalised approach to help each couple develop useful tools for improving their cohabitation and facing conflicts in a healthy way.

Recommended reading, discover: The 8 Types of Couples Therapy

1. Identify the real origin of the discussions

Many times arguments seem to arise “out of nowhere”, but behind them there are usually emotional factors, accumulated stress or unexpressed needs.

Therapy helps to identify what elements are fuelling the conflict and how external circumstances influence the relationship.

2. Improve communication in couples

One of the most important foundations of a healthy relationship is communication.

During the sessions, skills such as:

  • Expressing emotions without attacking
  • Listen without interrupting
  • Validate the other person's emotions
  • Avoid constant reproaches
  • Communicate needs clearly

Learning to communicate effectively significantly reduces the intensity and frequency of arguments.

You might be interested in reading: Communication Challenge for Couples

3. Learning to manage anger and frustration

Holidays can lead to tiredness, feeling overwhelmed, and frustration. When there are no adequate emotional regulation tools, these states often result in arguments.

Couple's therapy helps to:

  • Recognise signs of emotional distress
  • To curb discussions before they escalate
  • Managing anger healthily
  • Avoid impulsive replies

Related article: Couple's therapy: A prelude to divorce or a new love?

4. Fostering assertiveness

Many people avoid expressing what bothers them in order not to create conflict. However, when emotions build up, they end up exploding disproportionately.

Assertiveness allows for the clear, respectful, and balanced expression of needs, boundaries, and emotions.

5. Balance individual time and shared time

One of the most common reasons for conflict during holidays is the feeling that there isn't enough personal space.

Therapy helps to negotiate individual activities, times, and needs without it being interpreted as a lack of love or interest.

Maintaining a degree of individuality within a relationship fosters a healthier and more flexible coexistence.

Related article: Having children can break up a couple.)

6. Train active listening

Listening is not simply remaining silent while the other person speaks.

Active listening involves:

  • Show genuine interest
  • Validate emotions
  • To listen attentively without preparing an immediate response
  • To make the other person feel understood

When a couple feels heard, emotional tension decreases considerably.

Related article: How to know if you have a secure or dependent attachment style?

7. Share responsibilities out evenly

During the holidays, many arguments arise due to imbalances in family, domestic, or organisational responsibilities.

Therapy helps to build fairer and more balanced agreements that reduce feelings of being overwhelmed.

Psychological therapy to improve couple's coexistence

Signs that couples therapy might be recommended

It can be helpful to seek professional help when:

  • The discussions are frequent and exhausting
  • There is difficulty communicating without conflict
  • Resentment is building
  • There is emotional distance
  • Holidays cause constant anxiety or tension
  • The same problems keep recurring without a solution.
  • Living together becomes difficult

Seeking psychological help doesn't mean the relationship is broken, but rather that both individuals want to improve it and learn new tools.

You might be interested in reading: Do you get drawn into arguments?

Couple talking to a psychologist in couples therapy in Fuengirola

Couples therapy in Fuengirola and Mijas

At CALMA Psicólogos, we offer couples therapy in Fuengirola and Mijas tailored to the specific needs of each relationship. Our aim is to help you understand your conflicts better, improve communication, and regain emotional well-being in your life together.

Relationship difficulties can become opportunities for growth when they are addressed with respect, empathy, and mutual commitment.

Service Couple therapy

Couple resolving arguments during family holiday

Conclusion

Holidays can test many relationships, but they can also become an opportunity to identify needs, improve communication, and strengthen the bond.

Couples therapy helps to develop practical tools for approaching conflicts from a healthier and more constructive perspective. Learning to listen, negotiate, and manage emotions can make a big difference in the quality of the relationship.

8 types of couples therapy in Fuengirola

Post written by Samara Valenzuela

If, after reading this entry, you believe you may need therapy and would like to learn more about the professionals who provide it at CALMA PSICOLOGOS, do not hesitate to click.

Bibliographical references

    • Borisoff, D., & Victor, D. A. (1991). Conflict management. Ediciones Díaz de Santos.
    • Calderón y Silva (2018). Active listening as a necessary element for dialogue. Revista Convicciones, 5(9), 83-87.
    • Castanyer, O. (2003). Assertiveness: Expression of Healthy Self-Esteem. Bilbao: Descleé de Brouwer.
    • Shackelford, T.K.; Voracek, M.; Schmitt, D.P.; Buss, D.M.; Weekes-Shackelford, V.A.; Michalski, R.L. (2004). Romantic jealousy in early adulthood and in later life. Human Nature, 15(3), 283-300.
    • Shaffer, D.R. & Kipp, K. (2007). Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence. Mexico: Thompson.
    • PsicoTools. (2021). Couple's therapy to overcome conflicts that arise on holiday. Psychology and Mind.